It’s April and you know what that means? Slimegirls!
Well… I suppose that would be a surprising answer if you hadn’t already seen the cover. What, were you expecting bunnygirls? Easter’s already over. But we threw some bunnies in anyway! And Bunny Slimegirls! So, lets start the slime and bunny flood!
After setting the stage with some appropriate BGM, of course!
This time around, we’re giving our house DJ a break and giving you some tracks from the Slimegirl Smoothies soundtrack to go with this month’s featured interview article:
We’ve got a special treat for our readers this month, as we’ve managed to book a special nude photoshoot with the lovely ladies of Slimey’s. What? You’ve never heard of Slimey’s? Well, it’s a very special bar where beautiful slime girls give customers a show by mixing up drinks inside their own bodies before serving them up! Owing to both the excellent selection of unique specialty drinks and the allure of these lovely ladies, the bar has become quite popular with adventurous gourmets, monstergirl lovers, and fans of color-matching puzzle games alike!
Berry is the founder, owner, and manager of Slimey’s, making her an accomplished businesswoman on top of being a smoking hot MILF. Rather than saving the boss lady for last, we opted to meet with her *first* and took the opportunity to ask her a few questions while we shot our photos.
“So, Berry, what gave you the idea to open such a unique bar?”
Berry: “The idea was to create a place that people could enjoy, an escape after a long day at work or even just a quiet getaway, with a bit of fanservice sprinkled on top. I always seem to find myself wrapped up in the comfort of people’s well-aimed smiles. Plus, when we really look inside of ourselves, we always are on the lookout for something more… taboo and unique *giggles*. The drinks themselves do contain alcohol, but it’s our special way of blending each smoothie that makes things very unique. You forget alcohol is a part of the process. Though for some more lightweights like Mint she tends to absorb more than she can carry.”
“Is it tough running this sort of business? What’s the hardest part?”
Berry: “The paperwork.”
Enough said. So then, what do you do to unwind after all that paperwork is finally done?”
Berry: “Mostly shopping. Or cleaning up and looking after Cherry.”
“Ah right, your daughter Cherry. She also works here. So this is a family business? Are all the employees here your daughters?”
Berry: “I Would consider all the girls my family. If you asked me, when we first opened, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you. But I could never see it any other way. Cherry I have raised as my own and Mint and Plum have become quite the big and little sister to her. I just tend to….ooze mother-like qualities.”
Sounds like you have plenty of love to go around. How about the customers?”
Berry: “There is this one gentleman, always on a Saturday night. Asks for a private booth. I let him drink from momma’s taps *giggles*”
“Oh my. That’s fairly risque. But, what's the naughtiest thing you've ever done?”
Berry: “Let’s see after this interview~”
“…Well then. When you put it that way… No further questions.”
After our uh… post-interview debriefing, I caught up with Berry’s daughter, the bright and ever-cheerful Cherry, for her own session!
“You and Cherry make an awesome mother-daughter power duo! Hopefully work hasn’t come between you two.”
Cherry: “Only time things get strained between us is more of a jealousy vibe. I tend to have my own patrons, so seeing Mama Berry getting cozy with them I tend to wonder if I need to have more qualities like her. But Berry reminds me to always be true to myself and work is work.”
“You both seem pretty close-knit. What do y’all do for fun?”
Cherry: “Recently we have been playing DnD with Mint and Plum. They host a game at the bar every few weeks after a night of work to really bring us together in a bonding exercise. I just get horny though… all those talk of monsters with tentacles just drives me NUTS!”
“What about on your own? Any personal hobbies?”
Cherry: “Well having fun! Hitting the arcade, shopping. Or parties! Sex too!
“Shopping? Like clothes? You mean to tell me you don’t just have a closet full of waitress bunnysuits?”
Cherry: “Yup! My go-to outfit is a Crop top and short shorts. Quick on my feet and ready to launch into adventure!”
“What’s the hardest part about working here?”
Cherry: “Not having enough tits to serve all these loving customers.”
“You must be popular then. Got a favorite customer?”
Cherry: “Oh gosh. Making me pick?! I love ‘em all!”
After speaking to the mother-daughter duo, it was time to start meeting the other employees. Up next is the small but feisty Mint.
“So Mint, I gotta say you’re looking good both in and *out* of your barmaid bunnysuit, but I’m a bit curious about what you *usually* wear when you’re off the clock.”
Mint: “Anything where people wont notice me. I do love sweaters and hoodies.”
“What do you think you’d be doing if you *weren't* a bartender at Slimey’s? Any other careers in mind?”
Mint: “Sleeping…but it’s not a job. This is pretty sweet in terms of a gig though.”
“Everyone’s been endlessly positive about this job, but surely there’s gotta be at least *one* downside. Be honest, what’s the downside?”
Mint: “The tits thing… It’s nice when people don’t mention the tits thing.”
“Tits thing?”
Mint: “DON’T MAKE ME SAY IT, ASSHOLE!”
“Ah. That tits thing. You’re a slime, right? If having the smallest breasts on the staff is an issue, can’t you just shapeshift them bigger or something?”
Mint: “Sha…..SHAPESHIFT!?!?! I may be a slime but LOOK AT ME, there really isn’t much to work with, here! Look if I had the extra slime yeah maybe I could…BUT WHAT’S IT TO YOU?!?! Yeah, I am shy about the flat thing, but my unique customers give me an edge on the girls. So I get just as much love… WHY DOES EVERYONE ASK ME ABOUT MY TITS?!?!?!”
“Sorry, sorry. I have heard you have a pretty dedicated fanbase around here. Got a favorite customer?”
Mint: “Ugh, if I have to say, they will simp, and that’s the last thing I need!”
“I gotta get you to spill the beans on something! So… What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done that you’re willing to share?”
Mint: “Called in sick when I wasn't sick. Naughty as FUCK!”
Up next is Mint’s near-opposite, the quiet, reserved, and curvaceous Plum:
“Thanks for posing for these pictures by the way. You and Mint looked so cute in your matching uniforms for the cover pic.”
Plum: “Ah… Thank you.”
“And that’s a cute accent! Where are you from, if you don’t mind me asking?”
Plum: “Oh merci. France, a little town known as Peillon. A small country town.”
“That’s a long ways away, how are you adjusting to life here?”
Plum: Everyone here has been so welcoming. …I feel very at home here. My shy nature and this job has more been a… force? To get me to come out of my shell. I feel my English has progressed quite well being here as a lot of, how you say, “slang” comes up. What is a ‘oppai’ by the way?
“Umm… If I ever find out I’ll let you know. So then, what do you like to do in your free time?”
Plum: “Reading mostly. Though recently I am working on my DnD campaign with the girls…”
“Ah yeah, Cherry mentioned something about that earlier. How’s that coming along? Can you tell us anything about it?”
Plum: “Oh goodness… it’s a bit embarrassing to talk about. Also I don’t want to… what’s the word… “spoil” the story in case one of the other girls reads this article before we finish the campaign.”
“Fair enough. How about a different topic then. I asked Mint this one too: What kinds of clothes do you like wearing off the clock?”
Plum: “I have this… er robe… for Dnd… but it is a silly answer… YOU’RE NOT WRITING THIS ARE YOU?!”
And that’s it for the bar’s employees. …Or is it? After hearing that the bar might be getting a little something of a “DLC update” soon, we decided to track down this newcomer to give our readers a little sneak preview of the new girl!
“Hey, you must be Lemon! Plum told me a lot about you!”
Lemon: “Howdy there! Yeah, Plum was my first “customer” during the training day. She really created my love for customer service.”
“Training? You ever do something like bartending before?”
Lemon: “Back on the ranch I loved entertaining at the local watering hole. This is a little different, but it never hurts to learn a new skill!”
“Okay, this might be rude but I’m just gonna come out and ask it, are you *really* a cowgirl or is this some kind of character act?”
Lemon: “Well boy howdy, its only a matter of time ‘til you find out! When I start my shift at the bar in a month or so, you best be shootin’ on by and asking me real close like~”
“Sounds like a plan then! But before I go, would you mind posing for a few pictures?”
Lemon: “You got it, pardner!”
And there you have it folks, the lovely ladies of Slimey’s. I highly recommend you pay them a visit yourself, just mosey on down to the Slimgirls Smoothies Steam or Itch.io page to get yourself a copy before Lemon’s new DLC drops. …Mosey on down? I think Lemon might have rubbed off on me a little.
If Berry isn’t enough slime girl MILF for you, (and I mean, can one *really* have enough slime girl MILFs?) then meet Green Rachel!
And while Green Rachel Jelly herself is a common subject of her drawings, she does a lot of other cool monstergirl drawings and designs as well.
She’s working on a new webcomic as well, Eretale Monster Hearts, so keep an eye out for that when it comes out!
https://twitter.com/Green_R_Jelly/status/1630539884875194369
Well, we already gave Slimegirl Smoothies the spotlight so we could have just said that is *also* the game of the month and called it a day. Orrr… We could pick THREE MORE Slimegirl games and have a slimegirl game(s) of the month bonanza! Yeah. Gonna do the second one.
Platinum War Elf: Lust In Slimetown
Dredged up another older game, this one is from 2014. While it’s in Japanese, it comes with a partial English patch that translates items and UI stuff to make it much easier to play for non-Japanese speakers even if you miss out on some dialogue. Anyway, it’s a top-down action game that plays a bit like a Metroidvania where you explore a city that’s been taken over by slimes and open up new areas to explore as you manage to defeat the slimegirl bosses.
You can get it from DLsite here:
https://www.dlsite.com/maniax/work/=/product_id/RJ127289.html
Slime Hunter Nena
Slime Hunter Nena is a JRPG style game about an adventurer who takes a quest to clear the slimes out of a local cave, only to end up receiving an offer from the slime queen to team up to take out a traitor that is the *real* culprit she needs to take out. This one *doesn’t* have any kind of English patch, so you’re going to need some Japanese knowledge or a translation tool that works on RPG Maker games to play through it.
You can get it from DLsite here:
https://www.dlsite.com/maniax/work/=/product_id/RJ325588.html
The Adventures of Skye the Slime Maid
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: Boy saves a slime from a wolf, nosy goddess turns the slime into a cute girl so she becomes said boy’s maid and later decides to become an adventurer like him. The Adventures of Skye the Slime Maid is a short rom-com visual novel set against a backdrop of JRPG tropes.
You can get it on Steam here:
https://store.steampowered.com/app/2106600/Adventures_of_Skye_the_Slime_Maid/
Question: My college roommate is a fire elemental, and he keeps the room swelteringly hot. He says he has to stay burning to stay healthy but I’m sweating my ass off. Is there a way I can get him to cool it?
Steamily,
Sweaty In Seattle
Answer:
First of all, not true about the health thing. I hung out with some djinns for a while and they were fine in any temperature. Making fire’s just sort of an energy release thing that makes them feel good but they respected my space. That said, I didn’t mind being in the room when said people got into a heated orgy. I just stayed out of the splash zone… or the burn zone, rather.
But the roommate thing! If he’s going to be a hothead about this, then he’s going to have to accept the consequences. That means he’s the new heat source of your dorm. Strip naked whenever he’s around. Boil a pot of water on his head. Even toast some marshmallows on him. Invite your friends to light their cigarettes on his flames (just maybe not when you’re naked, unless you’re into that too). If he wants to be an open flame indoors, he’s an open flame indoors. He should get tired of that, and if he still doesn’t crack, then hey! Free stove!
That’s all for this month! If you want to be the first to read the next issue, be sure to click the subscribe button below to have it sent to your email inbox for free the moment it’s ready!